What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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