problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
