Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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