just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
