my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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