I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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