If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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