Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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