absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
