How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
