she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
