Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
