Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
