i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
