Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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