dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
