I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
