i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
