Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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