I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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