Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
