i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I AM VODKA MAN
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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