please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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