I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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