why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
