I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
