butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
