By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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