The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
