So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
