i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
