can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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