So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
