Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
