He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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