I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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