I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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