he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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