I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
