I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's great music for shaving your balls
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
