We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
