she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
