Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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