my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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