She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
