she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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