just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
