Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
