I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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