He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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